Just when I was getting so good at not judging people by what they look like this Dapper Dan man had to come along and set me back. Police say he ran over his girlfriend with a half-ton truck. He could be innocent and they'd still throw him in the clink for the rest of his life. Not one to shirk off a learning opportunity, this experience has taught me two things:
1) With Jethro here in a holding cell, they're going to need a new stunt double for Mad-Eyed Moody for Harry Potter 6.
2) Love is indeed blind. And she uses an equally blind, inbred golden retriever for both a guide dog and a matchmaker.
3) Eye patches should be mandatory for some people. If D'Arcy Brandhorst from second grade had to wear one then this guy should too.
